In this episode of Rock N Recovery, I sit down with Jay for a raw and unfiltered conversation about addiction, recovery, trauma healing, loss, and resilience. We talk about the realities of addiction recovery, how relapse often begins long before the first use, and how gratitude, structure, and accountability form the foundation for long-term healing.
I open up about my own story — how I went through eight different treatments before finally finding lasting sobriety. My path began with early experimentation at age twelve: smoking weed, drinking, and eventually being prescribed Xanax. What started as casual use turned into dependency. By sixteen I was using OxyContin, by nineteen heroin, and by twenty I was injecting. At twenty-three I landed in prison for the first time, and by twenty-five, I was back again. The journey toward trauma healing didn’t begin until I hit my bottom — an overdose in my car in Milwaukee that led to a probation hold and in-custody treatment.
I share how the book A Vision of Hope was born from that experience. Writing while incarcerated became a lifeline. It was both therapy and purpose — a way to make sense of everything I’d been through.
I talk about how the officers who arrested me treated me with compassion. I was honest with them about my addiction. They allowed me to throw away my syringe and flush my remaining drugs. That small act of grace reminded me that there are still good people wearing the badge. Jay and I talk about how the public narrative often focuses on bad experiences with police, but there are also officers working quietly to help people heal. There needs to be more training and empathy on both sides, and more structured collaboration between law enforcement and community.
We explore the importance of resilience — how it isn’t something we’re born with, but something we build. Jay opens up about his own story of loss — finding his wife after her suicide — and how it became the catalyst for his sobriety. I share my own grief after losing my fiancée, Caroline, to suicide in July. I talk about how I can feel Jay’s pain, and how her loss only deepened my commitment to my mission. Resilience comes from choosing growth over bitterness, meaning over despair. I know that falling back would dishonor her memory. Instead, I channel that pain into helping others break free from the same cycle.
We discuss how drugs stopped working for me — how I would find death before I’d ever find peace in them again. That’s the truth of addiction recovery: you either stop in one of four ways — jail, institutions, death, or recovery. I was lucky enough to find the last one. But it didn’t come without work. I spent four to eight hours a day writing my book, finishing it the morning of my release. Later, I lost half of the manuscript, only to find it years later at my dad’s house. I took that as a sign that the story wasn’t over.
Our conversation moves into intentional living and why structure matters. Time, if left unaccounted for, becomes a breeding ground for relapse. Addiction and mental health struggles thrive on chaos. Structure creates safety. I talk about how I use time-blocking to stay accountable, putting my phone in airplane mode when I need to focus. I share how honesty — both with ourselves and others — is key, and how confession and acceptance can dissolve shame. Recovery isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress.
Jay and I also talk about trauma healing and the power of self-examination. Addiction isn’t born in a vacuum — mine stemmed from self-doubt, image issues, and growing up in a family affected by alcoholism. It’s only by analyzing those roots that I began to truly heal. Every person’s story is different, but the emotional thread is the same: pain seeks relief. When we learn healthier ways to process it, we break generational cycles.
We expand on how public systems could better support people in recovery. In Colorado, for example, police are required to send a crisis intervention team to respond with officers — a model every state should follow. There should also be a step-down process for people leaving prison, so they aren’t set up to fail upon reentry. The first step to change is identifying what you want to change — and what you want it to become. Personal growth begins there.
I share how structure and consistency are vital to maintaining resilience and purpose. According to Time Magazine, a 90-day program is the ideal structure for meaningful change — something I built into A Vision of Hope. The 90-day recovery model emphasizes routine, accountability, and introspection — the antidote to the aimlessness that feeds addiction.
We end by talking about how every life has its storms, but if you hold on, beauty is on the other side. The feedback I’ve received on the book and program has been overwhelmingly positive. After I found the missing half of the manuscript, I decided to go all-in. I left solar and car sales to dedicate myself fully to this work. It’s proof that intentional living and faith can realign your entire life.
This episode of Rock N Recovery is about more than addiction — it’s about humanity. It’s about rebuilding, reconnection, and the courage to keep going when everything falls apart. Addiction recovery, trauma healing, resilience, intentional living, and personal growth aren’t just concepts — they’re the daily practices that make redemption possible.
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Episode timeline
- 00:00 Introduction, Suicide Prevention Month & Recovery Awareness
- 00:00 Welcoming Andrew and Opening Small Talk
- 00:00 Andrew’s Background: Addiction, Jail, Prison, Treatment
- 00:00 February 2019 Overdose + Arrest Story
- 00:00 The Officers’ Unexpected Compassion
- 00:00 Childhood Trauma: Bullying, Addiction in Family, Self-Image
- 00:00 Early Drug Use: Weed → Xanax → Oxys → Heroin → Injection
- 00:00 Gratitude Loss, Relapse, and Why Thoughts Became Action
- 00:00 The Syringe on the Floor + The Officer Letting You Flush It
- 00:00 Host’s Story: Wife’s Addiction, Depression & Passing
- 00:00 Policing, Mental Health, and Needed Systemic Change
- 00:00 Solitary Confinement, Mental Health, and Systemic Harm
- 00:00 Reentry Failures: No Step-Down Process & Starting Over
- 00:00 Writing the Memoir: Jail Transfers, Plan to Write, and Healing
- 00:00 Writing as Reliving Trauma + Positive Reception Inside
- 00:00 The 90-Day Program: Memoir → Reflections → Workbook
- 00:00 Workbook Deep Dive: Identity → Strengths → Goals → Legacy
- 00:00 Why 90 Days? Neuroscience, Habits, Behavioral Change
- 00:00 Structure and Accountability in Recovery
- 00:00 Secrets, Shame, Confession, and Emotional Release
- 00:00 Host’s Experience: Acceptance After Trauma & Letting Go
- 00:00 Shared Grief: Your Fiancée’s Suicide & Finding Meaning
- 00:00 Why We Must Slow Down Violence & Increase Dialogue
- 00:00 Walking Through the Storm: Your Balcony Moment
- 00:00 Healing, Growth, Purpose: Three Pillars of Transformation
- 00:00 Addiction Realities: Stopping by Death or Recovery
- 00:00 Compassionate Officers & Fate Intersections
- 00:00 Finishing the Memoir Five Minutes Before Release
- 00:00 Finding the Lost Half of the Book: A Sign to Continue
- 00:00 Why the Book Resonates: Raw, Honest, and Real
- 00:00 Outreach Strategy: Podcasts, NetGalley, Edelweiss, Docs
- 00:00 People in Prison Have More Potential Than Society Believes
- 00:00 Prison Release: July 21st, 2019 + Rebuilding Life
- 00:00 Staying Focused, Staying Positive, and Purpose Over Distraction
- 00:00 Why Community Matters: Interdependence & Healing Together
- 00:00 Violence, Opinions, Dialogue & Emotional Maturity
- 00:00 Final Message: You Are Not Alone. Hope Is Real.
- 00:00 What Someone Stuck Should Do First
- 00:00 Closing Gratitude & Outro